ANYWAY. I'm Sarah, and I don't think I've had a single day where my female reproductive organs were active and NOT pissing me off. I got my period one day in summer when I was thirteen years old. And it just ... didn't stop. For the first year of my menstruating life, I bled for 25 days out of thirty. It was ridiculous, and led to me having anemia and needing fluids almost all the time. My well meaning GP at the time said my body was just "adjusting". Flash forward to September when I'm fourteen. I go to school, I come home, I have a snack. I'd been in pain all day, but that was ALREADY THE NORM for me.
But this was different. I threw up, and ended up throwing up every ten minutes or so that whole night. The GP thought it was the flu, but my mom took me to the hospital. At fourteen, I ended up having my first ultrasound and my first pelvic. It ended up I had eight cysts on my left ovary, one that was grapefruit sized and had gone gangrenous. I had that out and was put on the pill. I'm still on the pill (not that specific one), but that's another story.
And the blood stopped. But the pain ... never really did. Once a year, I'd snap and I wouldn't be able to take it anymore and I'd go to the hospital. Most of the time I'd have a cyst that had ruptured to go along with my pain, but when I complained it was constant, year round, they said it was probably in my head. That went on for years. I remember fainting in an undergrad class from the pain, I remember flunking out of school because I was so exhausted and in so much pain I just couldn't. I remember taking a whole bottle of Advil in a week (one of the 200 count ones!) because dear god, nothing helped the pain.
And then, one day when I was twenty-nine, I went in for my fourth ovarian cyst removal lap surgery. When I woke up, and was wheeled to my recovery room, I was told the cyst was gone, and I had endometriosis. Then I was given some pretty pictures and sent home. The doctor told me that it would make my cramps worse. That's it.
I ended up having to do a lot of research on endo myself. I've had my appendix out because I had to go to the ER for endo pain and was told that it was probably my appendix. (I figured hell, either way, it's not like I need the appendix, may as well be safe. It wasn't infected.) I've been in the hospital for weeks while doctors did CT after CT thinking it was gallstones. Colonoscopies - it must be IBS. Benzies - it must be all in my head. I had a doctor tell me to my face that there was no way it could hurt this bad, that I was being a hysterical woman and my mother would be ashamed. (I may have told that man I'd sue him. I didn't, but I don't regret it.)
And now here we are. I'll be 34 in five days, and I'm still in pain more often than not. It's better than it used to be - acupuncture and TCM seems to actually work for me somewhat - but I'm still trying to find a gyno that can do a lap and excise this newest round of lesions. I'm sick of gynos saying that I should just "wait and see" with the pill. I've been on my current pill since 2006, I think I've been waiting a while.
I'm just ... really tired, I guess.
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